Voyager
Seven of Five
by Dave Dugan
(david_dugan@comcast.net)

Seven of Five

Exterior shot of Voyager being shaken by ion storm. Cut to Voyager transporter room. Harry Kim is trying to beam up Seven of Nine from a nearby planet. Seven starts to materialize, then starts fading.

KIM

I 'm losing her!

TUVOK

Try cross circuiting to B.

KIM

That's what you always say. Cross circuiting to B. I think I've got her.

Seven materializes on the transporter pad. But the metal fragments on her head are now gold, instead of silver. And her uniform looks different.

TUVOK

Seven of Nine, are you well?

SEVEN OF FIVE

I am not Seven of Nine. I am Seven of Five, tertiary adjunct of an indeterminate matrix.

TUVOK

Then you are from a parallel universe.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Incorrect. I come from a universe perpendicular to yours.

KIM

Seven of Five? That doesn't make any sense!

SEVEN OF FIVE

I come from a place where your mathematical laws do not apply.

TUVOK

Obviously.

He tweaks his comm. badge

TUVOK

Captain Janeway to the transporter room. We have a problem.

Dramatic music and cut to opening credits.

ACT I

Exterior shot of Voyager for Captain's log voice over.

JANEWAY

Captain's log, Stardate 1234.56. There has been an exchange between two universes. Our Seven of Nine has been replaced with Seven of Five. I have called a meeting of the ship's senior staff to discuss the situation.

Cut to interior shot of briefing room. Captain Janeway is there, along with Tuvok, Tom Paris, Harry Kim, B'ElannaTorres, Chakotay and Neelix.

PARIS

Seven of Five? Great! We have a Borg who doesn't know how to count!

JANEWAY

While she is here, I want you to give all of the respect to Seven of Five that you would give to Seven of Nine.

PARIS

But I don't giver her any!

JANEWAY

The main issue is: how do we get our Seven of Nine back to this universe.

PARIS

We can wait for another ion storm.

TORRES

Seven of Five comes from a universe perpendicular to ours. That suggests that our universes often intersect each other. It might be easy to return her and get Seven of Nine back.

TUVOK

According Starfleet records, the USS Enterprise under Captain Kirk encountered a parallel universe. There is no record anywhere of a perpendicular universe, or universes that intersects ours at 45 degrees.

JANEWAY

I think we should bring Seven of Five into this discussion.

Harry Kim goes out to the hall and brings Seven of Five into the briefing room.

SEVEN OF FIVE

You wanted to see me Captain?

JANEWAY

Do you know how to get back to your universe and bring Seven of Nine back.

SEVEN OF FIVE

I am now an individual. The Borg Queen from my universe will try to hunt me down and return me to the collective. She can easily enter this universe, though I do not know how. The designation of the Borg Queen is Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other.

Every one, except Tuvok starts giggling hysterically.

VOICE ON INTERCOM

Captain Janeway, a large vessel is approaching.

JANEWAY

Everyone to the bridge.

Cut to shot of the bridge.

Everyone leaves the turbolift and goes to their stations.

KIM

I'm getting some very strange readings from this ship.

JANEWAY

On screen.

The view screen shows a large silver ring with a half twist in it.

JANEWAY

That looks very strange.

CHAKOTAY

Yes it does. It looks like Neelix's latest dish.

TUVOK

The vessel is a giant Mobius Strip. It is an object that has only one side and one edge.

PARIS

Good, we have an opponent with only one side to them!

KIM

The ship is made of negative matter!

CHAKOTAY

You mean anti-matter?

KIM

No. It has a negative mass. If you apply a force to it, it will accelerate 180 degrees out of phase with the force!

JANEWAY

Weird! Hail them.

TUVOK

They are hailing us.

JANEWAY

On speaker.

The voice is a Borg like monotone.

SIX OF ONE

I am Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other. I am the Borg Queen from another universe. Return Seven of Five to us.

SEVEN OF FIVE

I are an individual. I will not comply.

PARIS

In a low voice

Not only can she not count, she can't speak.

SIX OF ONE

Seven of Five, I are Borg as you are Borg, as we are Borg and we are all together.

PARIS

Goo Goo G' Joob.

SIX OF ONE

Seven of Five must be returned to us. You will comply. Impedance is futile!

CHAKOTAY

Red altert!

Dramatic music and cut to commercial.

ACT II

TUVOK

The Borg vessel is powering up their weapons.

As he says this we can see the Mobius Strip unzipping itself lengthwise. It is now a single loop with two sides. Then, suddenly it disappears.

JANEWAY

Well, that was anticlimactic. Are there any traces of the vessel?

KIM

There is nothing there. No warping of space. No residual radiation.There was a short spike of an electric field but that was it.

JANEWAY

Stand down from red alert. It looks like she's gone for now.

Cut to a shot of the mess hall. Neelix is serving dinner to everyone. Paris and Torres are sitting next to each other. Harry Kim is nearby. Torres is looking intently at her food.

TORRES

What is this?

NEELIX

Its my own special recipe for pasta!

PARIS

This is pasta? Could of fooled me. What are those shapes?

NEELIX

They're Mobius strips. They were inspired by the Borg vessel we encountered.

KIM

Next time, just use pasta wheels.

TORRES

I heard an electric field appeared when the Borg ship vanished.

PARIS

So? Is that significant?

TORRES

Yes. It may be a way we enter the perpendicular universe. Maybe we can enter by polarizing the vacuum with a large electric field. Neelix, could you give two of your metal plates?

NEELIX

Sure. What do you need them for?

TORRES

I want to make a scale model of a parallel plate capacitor.

PARIS

And I thought Seven of Five was bad.

Seven of Five enters with Chakotay.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Mr. Paris, you are an expert on twentieth century Earth.

PARIS

I know something about it.

SEVEN OF FIVE

I have uncovered evidence that the Borg in your universe were on Earth during that century.

PARIS

Oh?

SEVEN OF FIVE

There were several celebrities with Borg designations. For example, Ernest Borg Nine and Bjorn Borg.

Paris starts laughing.

CHAKOTAY

Seven , why don't you just relax. You could try consulting your animal spirit guide.

SEVEN OF FIVE

I do not know how. Assist me.

Chakotay and Seven of Five leave the room. Torres and Paris also leave. Torres is carrying two of Neelix's metal plates. Some time later, cut to a shot of Seven of Five's quarters. She looks upset. There is a beep at her door.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Enter.

Chakotay enters.

CHAKOTAY

You look upset. Why?

SEVEN OF FIVE

I fear I will not be able to return to my universe.

CHAKOTAY

Did you get in touch with your animal spirit guide?

SEVEN OF FIVE

My guide was most unhelpful. It was a slug.

There is the sound of a red alert. Chakotay hits his badge.

CHAKOTAY

Chakotay to the bridge. Why is there a red alert?

JANEWAY

This is Captain Janeway. Our Borg friend from the perpendicular universe is back. Come to the bridge as soon as you can.

Seven of Five and Chakotay run to the nearest turbo lift. Cut to a shot of them leaving the turbo lift and onto the bridge. Cut to a shot of the Borg Mobius strip on the view screen.

JANEWAY

Hail them.

TUVOK

Hailing frequencies open.

JANEWAY

This is Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager. We have a crew member in your universe. Have you come across Seven of Nine?

The Borg Queen appears on the view screen. She has the head of an insect, with compound eyes.

SIX OF ONE

Doesn't anyone in your universe know how to count? I have Seven of Nine. I will exchange her for Seven of Five.

JANEWAY

Unacceptable.

SIX OF ONE

Then I will take Seven of Five by force. Impedance is futile!

PARIS

We've been here before! What the hell is this? "Cause and Effect?"

TUVOK

The Borg vessel is firing a tractor beam at us. It is a repulsive force. Apparently they assume our vessel is made of negative matter.

PARIS

I think the Borg Queen is repulsive.

On that tense note, dramatic music and cut to commercial.

ACT III

TUVOK

The Borg vessel is powering up their weapons.

As before, we can see the Mobius Strip unzipping itself lengthwise. It is now a single loop with two sides. Then, suddenly it disappears.

JANEWAY

That's interesting. Every time they try to fire at us, they go back to their own universe.

Janeway receives a message over the communication system.

TORRES

Torres to Janeway. Come to engineering. I have a way to enter the perpendicular universe.

Cut to a shot of Janeway entering engineering. Torres and Paris are standing next to two large parallel sheets of metal.

JANEWAY

What is that? Is it a flux capacitor?

TORRES

No. A flux capacitor is for time travel. This capacitor will allow us to enter the perpendicular universe whenever we want. The catch is we can only make one big enough for the Delta Flyer.

PARIS

B'Elanna and I will use the Delta Flyer to bring back Seven of Nine.

JANEWAY

Take Tuvok with you. Let me know when you're ready to proceed.

Cut to a shot of sick bay. Seven of Five enters.

SEVEN OF FIVE

You wanted to see me.

THE DOCTOR

It's time for some lessons in the social graces. For example, you should politely ask someone for help. Don't' just say "assist me", ask politely. Could you try it?

SEVEN OF FIVE

Assist me, damn it!

THE DOCTOR

That wasn't an improvement.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Was Seven of Nine better adapted to your social setting?

THE DOCTOR

You're somewhat different, but about the same. You could say it's six of one, half a dozen of the other.

SEVEN OF FIVE

You know the Borg Queen from my universe?

THE DOCTOR

No. But I know she is an insect.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Is that not appropriate for the locus of the hive mind?

The Doctor starts singing an old Slim Harpo song.

THE DOCTOR

Well I'm a king bee buzzing around your hive.
Well I'm a king bee, baby buzzing around your hive.
Yeah I can make honey baby
Let come inside

Seven of Five looks confused and leaves. Cut to a shot of the shuttle bay. The Delta Flyer has the two sheets of the capacitor above and below it.It flies out of the shuttle bay. Cut to an interior shot of the Delta Flyer. Paris is at the helm. Tuvok is at the tactical station. Torres is at a complicated looking control panel.

TORRES

Activating the polarizing field.

A hole opens up in front of the Delta Flyer as it enters the perpendicular universe. Soon, they run across the Mobius Strip shaped Borg ship.

TUVOK

The Borg vessel has scanned us. They are powering up their weapons.

TORRES

Fire phasers at their engines.

PARIS

It's a Mobius strip! Where the hell ARE their engines?

The Flyer fires phasers and hits the Borg vessel. A slit opens on the Borg ship. Several large white lumps come out.

PARIS

Making evasive maneuvers.

The Delta Flyer manages to evade a few of the large white lumps. But one hits the Flyer. The Delta Flyer shakes under the impact.

TUVOK

Shields down to sixty percent.

TORRES

What hit us?

TUVOK

They were SPUD missiles, intended to mash an opponent.

PARIS

Are you trying to be funny, Tuvok?

TUVOK

That is not my intention.

TORRES

There's another one coming right at us!

PARIS

Do you want it with gravy?

We see the large white lump heading towards the Delta Flyer.

Dramatic music and cut to commercial.

ACT IV

The Delta Flyer manages to avoid the latest SPUD missile. In the back of the craft Torres is making something out of metal.

PARIS

What are you doing?

TORRES

I'm making our secret weapon. It's a giant scissors.

Paris looks skeptical.

TORRES

Well. Do you have a better idea?

PARIS

No. You're always at the cutting edge of new technology.

TORRES

Do you want me to break your neck?

She is interrupted by Tuvok.

TUVOK

We are being hailed by the Borg vessel.

SIX OF ONE

You must surrender now! Impedance is futile! You will be absorbed.

PARIS

Great! Now we're being chased by a giant paper towel!

TORRES

Fire the scissors ray!

The giant scissors head towards the Borg vessel and starts cutting it lengthwise. The Borg vessel remains one strip, though now it has two sides and two edges.

TUVOK

The scissors ray was ineffective. Since it cut the Mobius strip lengthwise, the vessel is still intact.

The Borg vessel launches another SPUD missile. The Delta Flyer just barely avoids being hit by the missile.

PARIS

We need more firepower! I think we should retreat for now.

TUVOK

Firing phasers.

The phasers hit the Borg ship, causing the giant strip to shake. The Borg vessel then launches three more SPUDs. The Delta Flyer fires phasers at the SPUDs. The phasers just fry the SPUDs. One of the SPUDs hits the Delta Flyer.

TUVOK

Shields down to twenty percent. We must retreat.

The Borg ship fires more SPUDs.

TORRES

I'm activating the polarizing field at 150 percent of maximum safe strength. We need to get out of here fast!

A hole opens in front of the shuttle. The Delta Flyer goes through and returns to our universe.

PARIS

We made it!

The shuttle returns to Voyager. In the shuttle bay, Torres, Paris and Tuvok load more firepower aboard the Delta Flyer. When they finish, the Delta Flyer leaves again Cut to interior shot of the Delta Flyer.

TORRES

I'm activating the polarizing field.

Nothing happens.

TORRES

Oh No! I must have applied too high a field strength last time! I inadvertently de-perpendicularized the two universes! Now the two universes are parallel. It's going to be a lot more difficult to retrieve Seven of Nine!

The Delta Flyer returns to Voyager. Exterior shot of Voyager for captain's log voice over.

JANEWAY

Captain's log, Stardate 94008. At present, we are unable to retrieve Seven of Nine. In the meantime, the Doctor is helping Seven of Five adapt to our universe.

Cut to a shot of sickbay. The Doctor is there with Seven of Five.

THE DOCTOR

What is one plus one?

SEVEN OF FIVE

Five.

THE DOCTOR

Okaaay. What is five minus one?

SEVEN OF FIVE

Three.

THE DOCTOR

That's not even consistent!

SEVEN OF FIVE

Yes it is.

The Doctor shakes his head.

THE DOCTOR

Mr. Paris has something from twentieth century Earth that might help you.

The Doctor turns on a view screen. Seven of Five watches the view screen.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Who is the green being?

THE DOCTOR

That would be Kermit.

SEVEN OF FIVE

Who is the alien with a monocle?

THE DOCTOR

That is the Count. He will teach you how to count.

Show closing credits.